Recipes

1) Chicken Under the Covers (Aka: Creamy Chicken pot pie)
-From Fifty Shades of Chicken: a parody in a cookbook by F.L Fowler


For the Crust:
10 tablespoons unsalted butter, ice cold
1 1/3 cups all-purpose flour
1/4 teaspoon fine sea salt
1-3 tablespoons ice-cold water, as needed

For the Filling:
4 tablespoons unsalted butter
2 medium leeks (rinsed and thinly sliced)
2 medium potatoes, peeled and diced
1 small turnip, peeled and diced (we took the turnip as optional...and it was fine without)
1 carrot, peeled and diced
1 celery stalk, peeled and diced
1 garlic clove, chopped (we used 3 because we love garlic, and it tasted terrific!)
1/2 teaspoon dried thyme
1/4 cup all-purpose flour
2 cups unsalted chicken broth
1/2 cup heavy cream, plus more as needed
3/4 teaspoon coarse kosher salt
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
2 cups shredded cooked chicken
1/2 cup fresh or frozen peas (we did frozen because it was easier and it tasted great too!)

Step 1:
To make the crust slice the butter into cold cubes. Toss together the flour and the salt in a large bowl. Work the butter into the flour until the mixture forms pea-size crumbs. Slowly dribble in the water until the dough just combines together Wrap tightly in plastic wrap and refrigerate for at least 1 hour.

Step 2:
To make the filling: Melt the butter in a large skillet over medium heat until it is sizzling. Add the leeks, potatoes, carrot, celery, and turnip (if you used it). Cook, stirring often until the vegetables are slightly caramelized, 7-10  minutes. Stir in the garlic and thyme; cook for one minute. Stirring constantly, pour in the broth in a slow, steady stream, then do the same with the cream. The sauce should come together smoothly. Season it with salt and pepper. After the mixture has bubbled and thickened for a few minutes, stir in the chicken and peas. Remove the pan from the heat and let it cool completely.

Step 3:
Preheat the oven to 375 degrees Fahrenheit. Spoon the filling into a 9-inch deep-dish pie plate or a 2-quart souffle dish.

Step 4:
To prepare for pie bondage, lightly dust a large work surface with flour. Roll the crust out to a 10-inch circle. Using a sharp knife or pastry wheel, slice the crust into 1/2 inch strips. Arrange the strips over the chicken in a tight, restraining, crisscross pattern, covering up all the chicken underneath. Brush the top lightly with cream. Bake until the crust is golden and the filling is hot and bubbly, about 45 minutes. Let cool slightly before serving.

A note from Nori and Robyn about the crust: it was a lot easier to roll the dough into narrow tube-shaped pieces then to use the 1/2 inch strips that kept breaking apart as we tried to lay them out. Granted, we had the wrong size pan. we recommend trying the strips first, but then resorting to the tube shaped pieces later if the dough falls apart on you. Also, we forgot to brush the crust with cream at the end, but it still tasted fantastic! So don't worry, if you miss that step too.

2) Spatchcocked Chicken (AKA: butterflied roasted chicken with herb and almond pesto) 

From Fifty Shades of Chicken by FL Fowler

3 1/2-4lb whole chicken
1 1/2 teaspoon coarse kosher salt, plus a large firm pinch
4 scallions, green and white parts partially chopped
1 cup roughly chopped, tender fresh herbs: (ex combination of dill, basil, flat-leaf parsley, and cilantro)
1/2 cup sliced almonds (we are using pine nuts instead)
1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil, and don't forget to save some for the roasting pan!
2 tablespoons freshly squeezed lemon juice
1 garlic clove, chopped
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
lemon halves (optional for serving)

1. Using large, strong kitchen shears and a confident hand, forcefully cut the backbone out of the chicken; first cut along one side of the backbone, then cut along the other side until it releases, then pull it out. Gently spread the bird open, pressing down on the breast to flatten it. Massage the flesh with 1 1/2 teaspoon of salt. 
***TIP*** This is called butterflying the chicken. If you are butterflying virgins (like we are), just ask your butcher to do this part for you!   

2. Whirl the scallions, herbs, almonds, oil, lemon juice, garlic, and pepper together in the blender until quite smooth and luscious. Taste and season with a large pinch of salt. Smear the pesto all over the bird. Cover and refrigerate for at least 4 hours and preferably overnight.
 ***TIP*** Make sure you read any recipe before planning on cooking it. We made the mistake of over looking the prep time for the chicken to be marinaded in it. Although we think that 4 hours should still be plenty of time to spice up your chicken. But just be aware.

3. Preheat the oven to 450 F. Spread the bird flat, breasts up, in an oiled roasting pan. Roast until golden and succulent, 40 to 50 minutes. Let rest for 10 minutes, then have your way with her, squeezing on lemon juice if she needs a tang.